PREPARATION
There is a sort of rule of thumb for when to tell children that the family is moving: One week for every year of your child’s age. So, 4 years old- 4 weeks; 12 years old- 12 weeks; and so on. This might work in some cases but there are other factors to consider, than just age.
– How many moves your family has already made and the experiences of those moves
– The family’s sense of ‘togetherness’ and your child’s awareness of your lifestyle
– A child’s temperament, flexibility, and maturity
– A child’s connections to a place, goals and plans, specific needs
Let’s start with these for now!
Our minds, hearts and bodies are aligned when we feel settled and whole. Moving (or other transition) disrupts this, but eventually, they do realign. The rate at which this happens depends on various factors.
Different Examples to Consider:
Kara is 6 years old and doesn’t like change in her life. She loves her teacher and school, and works with a speech therapist. This will be Kara’s first move. Her parents wonder when and how to tell her that they will be leaving their ‘home’ and going to a different country, starting over, with new people, culture, language, etc. Will 6 weeks be enough time?
Dessi is 10 years old and has moved 3 times. He makes friends easily wherever he goes and gets into a soccer club, no matter what the language of their location. He’s an average student and doesn’t worry if there are things he has to ‘catch up’ on in lessons. Despite Dessi’s easy going nature, what can his parents do to make sure the transition goes well?
Luke is 14 years old. His family has moved 5 times. He typically gets angry and resentful, and isolates himself for a period of time once he finds out about a new move, and then takes about 4 months to settle in. It doesn’t help that his older sister likes moving and takes their parents’ side when the family discusses the issue. How can his parents show support for his feelings?
Trisha will be moving for her last 2 years of high school and starting in the IB program. She feels capable of making this move, but is still worried: The program will be demanding and she won’t have her usual friends and network for support. How might her parents lead the conversation to help Trisha get prepared mentally, emotionally for the move, and in practical ways for the IB program?
JOIN THE CHAT
– Share how many moves you’ve made and how the preparation and arrival went
– Consider your children’s ages and temperaments, and how they responded to the move
– In what ways did you help the kids (and yourself!) prepare for the move? What worked?
– In what ways do you build family ‘togetherness’ on a regular basis?
– What is something new that you would like to try?
I will also share some favorite strategies to help prepare and arrive in a new place. Looking forward to seeing you online on the Google Meet link.